I figured out what to make for the little kids in my life for Christmas. A lovely word that I had previously not been all that interested in: amigurumi. According to Wiki, amigurumi is "the Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small stuffed animals and anthropomorphic creatures."
Ravelry has tons of free crochet amigurumi patterns, all of which are little and therefore fast. Also, there's only so much difficulty that can be packed into a small toy hooked out of worsted weight yarn, so they're also very easy.
I'm going to frog the hat I was making for Riley because I was in the Knitting Black Hole anyway and the yarn is perfect for the frosting on an amigurumi cupcake and maybe a little bird. Seriously, these things are cute and can be produced in mass quantities in a small amount of time. Why didn't I think of this sooner?
Now all I have to do is decide what I'm going to do for my parents and in-laws.